Funny Things to Say on a Birthday Post

135 Funny Birthday Wishes, Quotes, Jokes & Images

If yous're looking for funny birthday wishes, quotes, and jokes to put a grin on their dial - you lot've come to the right place! Sometimes it's your brother/best friend/partners/office buddy's altogether, but a sappy message just won't cut information technology. Whether it's for him or her, a friend or a colleague, or peradventure even a belated birthday wish (whoops!), nosotros've got you covered with our huge pick of humorous birthday wishes.

Write the giggle-worthy greetings in birthday cards, send them by SMS or electronic mail, or bulletin someone on Facebook or Twitter - nosotros even have a hilarious emoji message selection! No matter how yous transport one of these funny wishes, you're sure to brighten their birthday and make them laugh out loud!

Use these links to bound to a particular section, or curlicue down the page to see the unabridged collection of funny birthday wishes and quotes.

Wishes | Quotes | For Her | For Him | Belated | Best Friend | Colleague | Emoji | Jokes

Last updated: June sixteen, 2022

Funny Altogether Wishes

Here are funny Happy Birthday wishes and messages you tin can utilize in a funny altogether card message to friends or family. These humorous birthday messages are sure to tickle their funny bone on their birthday.

I believe you forgot my altogether present concluding year, so at present I'thou returning the favor. Happy Birthday!

It's your birthday? Allow'south get up to some mischief!

A wise man one time said, "Forget most your past - you cannot modify it." I'd like to add: "Forget nigh your nowadays - I didn't get you lot one."

Happy Birthday to a [Mom/Dad] who's smart, funny, and good-looking, from a [girl/son] who inherited all your best qualities.

Funny birthday wishes almost getting older:

Y'all're how former?! Better have that block outdoors to light the candles! Have a very happy birthday.

It'southward OK to light the candles on your birthday cake now; I've already alerted the fire department.

Y'all know, they say that age is all in your mind. The key is to prevent information technology from trickling down into your body.

Congratulations on existence built-in a actually long fourth dimension ago.

You might be prehistoric, only at least you're non extinct!

Congratulations, you've finally reached the wonder years... wonder where your car is parked? Wonder where you lot left your phone? Wonder where your spectacles are? Wonder what 24-hour interval it is?

When I have a birthday, I take the 24-hour interval off. But when my wife has a altogether, she takes a yr or two off.
~ Unknown.

Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth.

You're not quondam! ...oh, no, look, really you are, pitiful about that...

Don't stress about your eyesight declining as you become older. Information technology's nature's mode of protecting y'all from shock as you walk past the mirror.

Happy Birthday!! You only expect as onetime as the terminal selfie you took.

I wouldn't say you're quondam... y'all've merely been young for longer than most of us.

Don't grow upward... Information technology'due south a trap!

Slap-up news! ...you're still alive!

You've got more than half a century of accumulated knowledge and wisdom! That would be crawly... if you could remember any of it.

You know, I would exist a whole lot more excited nearly you lot turning one twelvemonth older if I was in your will. Happy Birthday!

Happy Birthday to someone who has attended more than birthday parties for kids than adults this yr.

I idea you might need some assistance with the candles. Happy Birthday!

Personalize these Happy Birthday funny wishes with the age of the person.

Don't think of it equally turning [insert age]. We're hither to gloat the 10th ceremony of your [insert age -10]th birthday.

Looking [insert historic period] is great - if you're sixty.

[For under 40s:] You may not be over the colina yet, but you have a corking view!

[insert age]?! I demand a recount!

Congratulations on the 10th anniversary of your [XX]th birthday! Hither's to many more.

Happy Birthday! And remember yous're not [insert age] ...yous're eighteen with [Twenty] years' experience.

[Insert age] and even so also young to programme your ain surprise party!

You're lx? That'southward only 16 in Celsius. Happy birthday!

Deepest sympathies on your [insert age] birthday.

Funny Happy Birthday Quotes

Hither is a selection of funny Happy Altogether quotes that you can use to wish a friend or family fellow member a very happy birthday, plus poke fun at their age! Use these as a funny birthday card bulletin, or even every bit a Facebook explanation.

Birthdays are adept for you. Statistics prove that people who have the virtually live the longest! (But it has likewise been scientifically proven that too many volition kill y'all.)

Don't let aging go yous down... it's too hard to get dorsum upward again!

Middle age... when "happy hour" is a nap!

If gray hair is a sign of wisdom, and then you're a genius!

What goes up but never comes downwards? Your age.

The tragedy of getting old: Then many candles... and then footling cake.

Technically yous're not fifty. You're merely $49.95, plus revenue enhancement!

They say you lose your mind equally you grow older... what they don't tell y'all is that you lot won't miss information technology much!

Age doesn't make you lot forgetful: having as well many stupid things to remember makes you forgetful!

Growing erstwhile is mandatory; growing up is optional.
~ Chili Davis

Age is strictly a case of mind over affair. If you don't mind, it doesn't affair.
~ Jack Benny

Youth is a souvenir of nature just age is a work of art.
~ Stanislaw Lec

Age is non important unless you're a cheese.
~ Helen Hayes

I've reached an age where my train of thought often leaves the station without me.

Funny Birthday Wishes for Her

The ladies love to express mirth! Here's a collection of funny Happy Altogether wishes for your mom, sister, aunt, tertiary cousin, or female friends.

We'll be friends 'til we're onetime and senile... and so we'll be new friends!

The cloak-and-dagger to staying immature is make-up... make up an historic period, then stick with information technology!

Happy Birthday. It took you [insert age] years to expect this practiced!

Please don't retouch my wrinkles. Information technology took me and so many birthdays to earn them.
~ Anna Magnani

You're the youngest [insert historic period] year one-time I know.

Like many women my historic period, I am 28 years old.

You suck at aging! Tin can you at least try to expect older?

Those aren't gray hairs you lot meet. They're strands of birthday glitter growing out of your head.

Funny Birthday Wishes for Him

Demand comical birthday letters to poke fun at the signs of crumbling for a man? These funny Happy Birthday wishes for him, include humorous letters to wish your dad, brother, uncle, or best buddy a very happy birthday!

If anyone calls y'all erstwhile this birthday, merely hit him with your walking stick and throw your teeth at him.

Happy Birthday! Don't forget to fe that birthday arrange.

A little gray pilus is a small price to pay for so much wisdom.

I don't have birthdays anymore, I level upwards!

Fill in the gaps: H___Y B__T____ ... nice try - HAIRY BUTTOCKS.

Happy Birthday, Dad! When I grow up I want to be just like y'all... but hopefully with more hair! Love, your son.

Middle age is when your age begins to show around your heart.
~ Bob Hope

You know you're xl when your back is hairier than your head.

What did the bald guy say when he got a rummage for his birthday? Thank you, I'll never part with it!

A man has reached eye age when he's warned to tedious down by his doctor instead of the constabulary.
~ Henry Youngman

Funny Belated Happy Birthday Wishes

Oh no! Did you lot forget their birthday? Apologize with ane of these funny belated Happy Birthday messages. I'm sure information technology will get yous back in their practiced books...

I know you think this bill of fare is a few days late. It's actually worse than that. This is your card from 2010 that I only just got effectually to sending. Happy Belated Birthday!

I'm so sorry I forgot your birthday. The expert news is that I likewise forgot your age. Happy Belated Birthday!

I'm and so sad for sending you belated birthday wishes. Honestly, I didn't think y'all would live this long. Happy Altogether!

I hope this card isn't belatedly. Information technology is intentionally arriving later on your birth-day because I think yous deserve a whole birth-calendar month. Happy Nascency-month!

Happy Birthday! Don't call up of this as a late birthday card. Consider it a very early i for next yr. Here'southward wishing y'all a wonderful year ahead!

Funny Birthday Wishes for Best Friend

Yous and your best friend volition take shared in some comical capers over the years! These funny birthday wishes to wish your best friend a very happy birthday will be sure to give them a giggle.

Some say the glass is half empty, others say the glass is half full. It'south your birthday, just drink whatsoever's in the glass!

On your special mean solar day, I wish you peace, love, insight, relaxation, fun, knowledge, romance, friendship... and all that stuff that doesn't price annihilation.

Simply imagine all the things you'd desire to hear on your birthday ...and assume I wrote them here!

For your birthday, I wanted to give you something that was both funny and charming, merely then I remembered you already accept me in your life.

At your age, people expect yous to be calm, dignified, and sober. Disappoint them.

You're older; you're wiser; you're sophisticated. Far too sophisticated to be concerned with textile things similar presents.

At least you're not as old as yous'll exist this time next year.

If you lot feel a scrap solitary, forgotten, or just demand someone to cheer you upwardly remember...You can always modify your altogether on Facebook!

A truthful friend remembers your birthday, just not your age.

You're turning the perfect historic period. You're old enough to recognize your mistakes but immature enough to make some more. Happy birthday!

The best office of being over forty is that y'all did most of your stupid stuff earlier the internet.

Don't worry, they are non gray hairs, they are wisdom-highlights. You lot merely happen to be extremely wise.

[For over 40s:] Happy Birthday! I'm so pleased to hear you're over the hill instead of under it.

By the time you lot're your age, you've learned everything - you only have to call up it! Many happy returns on your altogether.

I spent 3 hours searching the internet for the perfect birthday message for y'all and and so I gave up. Happy Birthday.

When your friends brainstorm to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign yous're getting old.
~ Mark Twain

You are only young once, only you can be young for a lifetime.
~ John Grier

Happy 21st again!

If things get better with age, then you're approaching magnificent!

I volition never be an old man. To me, old historic period is always 15 years older than I am.
~ Francis Bacon

Yous tin live to be a hundred if you give upwards all the things that make you want to alive to be a hundred.
~ Woody Allen

The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and prevarication about your age.
~ Lucille Ball

You lot're in mint condition for a vintage model. Happy Birthday.
~ Catherine Pulsifer

Age is a number and mine is unlisted.
~ Author Unknown

As you go older, three things happen: The first is your retentivity goes, and I tin can't remember the other 2.
~ Norman Wisdom

You know you lot've aged when you read events you lived in a history book.
~ Will Ferrell

Funny Birthday Wishes for Colleagues

A lot of the time our altogether falls on a workday. Be certain to make your office buddy's day with a funny bulletin. Here are some funny Happy Birthday wishes and messages that y'all can write in a birthday card message to work colleagues on their birthday.

Gauge what - yous're one year closer to retiring! Happy Birthday.

Work makes u.s.a. colleagues. Our inappropriate conversations make united states friends. Happy Birthday!

Y'all are one year wiser, which is lucky, every bit I forgot the countersign again... Happy Altogether piece of work buddy.

You're such an amazing worker you definitely deserve a raise... Unfortunately, I'thou not the dominate. Happy Birthday!

Happy Altogether to my favorite coworker who gets the job washed, whilst having a ton of fun!

It sucks to have to work on your birthday - but at least you become to spend it with me this year! Happy Birthday.

Happy Birthday! Where's the cake?

Did you hear someone is stealing lunches from the refrigerator? I hope you enjoy the piece of cake I packed today! Happy Birthday.

You're the reason why I never get tired of work. But you may be the reason I become fired for talking too much! Happy Birthday.

Whoops, I didn't get yous a nowadays. Being my function buddy should be the only birthday present that you demand - information technology fifty-fifty lasts all year!

Birthday Wishes with Emojis

These next birthday wishes will make you lol (that'due south "laugh out loud")! If you similar to send funny Happy Birthday wishes to friends or family unit via SMS then be sure to add a few emojis to brighten up their birthday.

Happy Birthday! 🎂🧓👵🏾 Yous're a whole year OLDER 😂 Enjoy the ride 🎢

You historic period like a fine wine 🍷 Some may say you smell like a fine cheese... 🧀😂 Happy Birthday! 🎂

Cake 🎂✔️ Champers 🍾✔️ Best friend 👭✔️ PARTY 🥳✔️

Birthdays are about looking forrard to your futurity. Forget about your by, you can't change information technology. And you can forget almost your nowadays - I didn't get you 1 🎁😂

Cheers to the person who's as wild and crazy equally I am 🤪 Happy Birthday! 🎊🥳🎉

You're prehistoric, but non extinct! Hope your altogether is dino-mite 🦖

Another year around the sun ☀️🥳Some other reason to throw a political party 🎶🎉Happy Birthday!

On this very day, an amazing queen/king was built-in 👑 A court jester was as well built-in... Happy Birthday to my favorite Joker! 🃏😂

Here's a birthday wish...🎈 I hope that your hangover tomorrow isn't too bad. 🍺🥂🍷🍸🍹🍻 Cheers!

The best thing most being over 4️⃣0️⃣ is that you did stupid stuff earlier social media 🤓 Happy Birthday!

Happy altogether to someone who'southward out of this earth🪐And by that I mean a little weird, like me 👽😂 💫

🎂 The older you become, the meliorate you become... unless you are a birthday cake! Promise you have a peachy birthday and a BIG slice of cake 🍰🥳

Funny Happy Birthday Jokes

A collection of Happy Birthday funny jokes you can send to your friends and family on their birthdays. These birthday-themed funnies are certain to make their twenty-four hours.

How does NASA organize a birthday political party? They planet.

What kind of music is scary for birthday balloons? ...pop music!

I used to get heartburn when I ate altogether block until the physician brash me to accept the candles off first.

I always get this warm feeling on my birthday - people won't terminate toasting me.

Why did the teddy bear refuse a slice of birthday cake? He was already stuffed.

You know you're getting quondam when you lot can't walk past a bathroom without thinking, "I may also pee while I'k here."

The good matter about having a bad memory is that jokes can be funny more than than once.

The good thing about having a bad retentivity is that jokes can be funny more than in one case.

Did you hear nearly the [insert age] twelvemonth old who was still cool? Yeah, me neither.

Do you know why candles are ever put on peak of altogether cakes?

Because it's far too difficult to put them on the bottom.

Y'all know you're one-time when you decline the lights to be economic instead of romantic.

Yous know yous're onetime when getting lucky means a short wait in the dr.'south office.

You lot know you're quondam when you have a party and the neighbors don't even realize.

Did you know that [insert engagement] is a date when no famous men or women have ever been born? .....None, merely babies!

What practise yous say to a kangaroo on its birthday?

Hoppy Birthday (but only on LEAP years!).

Y'all know you're old when...
Yous and your teeth don't sleep together anymore.

What happens when no one shows up to your birthday political party?
You can have your cake and swallow it as well.

What did the pirate say to his parrot on his 80th altogether?
Yes Matey.

What type of altogether cake practice ghosts like most?
I Scream Cake.

When'south your birthday?
July 22nd.
What yr?
Every year.

More Funny Birthday Wishes

Still looking for merely the right message? Check out these pages for more than funny altogether wishes and quotes:

30th B'twenty-four hours
40th B'day
50th B'day
60th B'day
Birthday Wishes
Images Quotes
Wife
Hubby
Friends
Mom
Dad
Auntie
Sister
Brother
Daughter
Son
Belated
Bible Poetry
Altogether Prayers

92 Free Printable Birthday Cards

Costless printable birthday cards in loftier-quality PDF format that you tin can impress and fold at home. There are also some color-in printable cards, perfect for kids who want to create a unique altogether card for family and friends.

Click here to go to Gratis Printable Birthday Cards

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